whaooooooooooo nelly!

my oh my its been a while, ey? i periodically check my sister's blog but never take the time to update my own and i just got the sudden urge update this thing! it could be the bottle of chateau ste. michelle riesling at 2 in the morning while home alone and watching wedding shows on WE?..maybe? life has been sooooooooooo crazy lately i dont even know where to begin. the past two months have been the most emotionally draining/crazy/hectic/chaotic months of my 22 years of life. i do believe i am still trying to find myself. normal? i hope so! i have an urge to be the best person i can be. whether it be girlfriend, daughter, or sister i have suddenly wanted to step up to the plate and be what everyone wants me to be. but in doing so i feel as if i have lost myself. is this a call for help? maybe.

i am really wanting to head back to church on a regular basis. born and raised a catholic, and not sure if it really suites me. but gosh i dont know where to begin. i know what i believe in and i know my own reasonings for those beliefs but what are the odds that there is actually a church out there that fits me?! first goal of the new year (yes, i realize im a tid bit late to be making a new years resolution but better late then never) is to better myself.

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life."