whaooooooooooo nelly!

my oh my its been a while, ey? i periodically check my sister's blog but never take the time to update my own and i just got the sudden urge update this thing! it could be the bottle of chateau ste. michelle riesling at 2 in the morning while home alone and watching wedding shows on WE?..maybe? life has been sooooooooooo crazy lately i dont even know where to begin. the past two months have been the most emotionally draining/crazy/hectic/chaotic months of my 22 years of life. i do believe i am still trying to find myself. normal? i hope so! i have an urge to be the best person i can be. whether it be girlfriend, daughter, or sister i have suddenly wanted to step up to the plate and be what everyone wants me to be. but in doing so i feel as if i have lost myself. is this a call for help? maybe.

i am really wanting to head back to church on a regular basis. born and raised a catholic, and not sure if it really suites me. but gosh i dont know where to begin. i know what i believe in and i know my own reasonings for those beliefs but what are the odds that there is actually a church out there that fits me?! first goal of the new year (yes, i realize im a tid bit late to be making a new years resolution but better late then never) is to better myself.

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life."

new place, new stresses

the new casa right next to a park --->


i have always had roommates and didnt really have to worry about much other then making rent and my own personal bills. i decided i wanted to break away and live alone cause im a pretty independent person and like to do my own thing. so as of June 28th i will living in a studio all by myself! although i am so stinkin excited i had a break down the other night. i couldnt sleep cause i was bombarded with all these thoughts...

• i dont even own a pan. so while i can only afford ramen noodles i dont have a pan to cook them in so i will have to resort to eating them like chips. wtf mate.
• i got a hand-me-down shower curtain but no way to hang it...or even a pole. i would say i would just mop up the water and not use a curtain but i would have to invest in a mop. lose-lose situation.
  
• trash cans? who owns those!
• can opener....normally i resort to eating cans of tuna plain because my mayo and bread go bad too fast.... now i cant even open the can to eat it plain.
  

• $100 deposit just to get utilities in my name. can i please fork out anymore money!

there is one simple solution to all these problems... go buy what i need. funny thing about that is you have to have money to do that. although i work two jobs it seems like i never have enough money because all the little things add up.

i could probably rant and rave for days but this is all for now :)

till next time!

she's a newbie

i have never been much of a writer but my sister (on the left) convinced me to try this bad boy. so yes, im a newbie bear with me! i dedicate this first post to her, love you :)